“If I become the person inside me, it will look creative and edgy. It will sound melodic and pretty. It will feel warm and intellectual. It will smell sweet and addictive. And the ones who can see me, will love me.” -December 30, 2012
The benefits of finding out who you are and who you are not, can be tremendous. It can be so, when people who have a tendency of being less intuitive or self aware discover their true selves. Becoming self aware, or gaining personal insight, is no simple matter. As with most personal growth pathways I have encountered – the progression can be uneven, or oftentimes become dormant. But even though we change our directions at times, the goalposts and guidelines for self-awareness are always in the same place.
To generate positive self awareness, we need the following traits and environments:
- intuition that we can recognize and grow as a skill
- the intelligence necessary to grow, reflect, and modify ourselves
- willingness to abandon traits or patterns, when we realize they are not helping us progress
- a calm space within our psyche where learning can occur
- relationships that are authentic and serve as positive modelling, acting as supportive in a way that we personally need
- environments which nurture our hearts and minds to function as one, which help to overcome environments that play one for the other.
Things that slow down intuition, block awareness and genuity:
- self depreciating behaviour
- guilt and shame, surrounding functioning for expectations set by something or someone else
- over absorption of conventional dialogues
- having inauthentic relationships, role models
- superficial, counter intuitive, dishonest, and unsupportive environments
Similarly, the deficits of not being self aware can be tremendous also. When we lack personal insight it is increasingly difficult to navigate through our lives and environments efficiently and effectively.
We can assume we’re lacking in insight or personal awareness when we find ourselves doing any of the following habitually.
- we participate in activities we consistently do poorly.
- we surround ourselves in social environments that do not support or nurture our personal strengths.
- we drain ourselves for the sake of an others’ needs or desires.
- we do not understand our limits, strengths, and weaknesses well enough to recognize which we are acting from, in any given moment.
Think about engaging a challenging task. The results we get from completing a task in which we intrinsically understand the steps involved and the right way to go about completing them, can be invariably easier than when we lack the understanding surrounding the task. We are more likely to get slowed down by using poor methods or ill-chosen tools when not having an innate understanding of the task, than we are when we operate on tasks we understand intrinsically, or naturally.
Of course, there is something to be said about learning new things and conquering challenges that do not fall within our realm of intrinsic capabilities. But not much. And what can be said about it, is that new or foreign tasks are effectively managed when we attempt solutions using our strengths. Which of course is tricky the more abstract the connection between personal strengths, and foreign challenge.
The difference we find between; achieving the task with the right tools and understanding, and attempting the task without innately understanding it, can be minor or it can become an enormous set back in our personal life.
It is not enough to say we ‘know ourselves’, when what we know is a list of our likes and dislikes. We need to understand the areas we fail, and intuitively decide if we fail because our effort is not great enough, or simply because our raw capability is limited. This is not a blanket supposition – there are many skills we can improve with education or practice. Conversely there are as many areas which our skill level is limited by raw capability. There’s immediate value in knowing when we are putting more effort in to something than makes sense in the long run.
Consider the following simple equation, and the example below.
(percent effort)(percent raw capability) = percent of task fulfilled
Person 1: (100)(0.20) = 20%
Person 2: (100)(0.80) = 80%
What is the amount of effort we are willing to expend in order to achieve what someone else is achieving? 200% the effort of the peer? 400% the effort of the peer? Would the peer be willing to do the same, if they were in our place?
We should not be willing to put out 400 times the energy that someone else is doing, to achieve the same result. At the very least acknowledging we do not have the same capabilities as the person in context and not deluding ourselves into thinking we do – is a sign of great maturity and awareness.
We should genuinely appreciate the person’s strength, and accept the reality in front of us. Which if we authentically do results in something similar to the grieving process, and in terms of emotional growth – a merit of its own. We should save our 150-300% extra effort and better ourselves to put it into a direction that we’re more naturally capable of.
As stated above, accepting our limitations as humans is not to be applied in a way that prevents us from expending efforts. I mean that we should attempt at defining our limits, but not our capabilities. It may sound complicated, and that’s too bad, I can only hope that with a little thought we can understand the value here. When we define our limitations (things that utterly go against our natural tendencies and strengths), we are able to discover when to draw the line about some decisions and paths that we are on as individuals. By not defining what we are capable of, I suggest that when we are finding ways of conducting ourselves or creating something (that flow within our natural tendencies and strengths), then we are not to put a cap on what we’re capable of in that instance. So, we should make serious and sincere attempts at defining our limitations, but not our capabilities.
I will share my resolve for the New Year, which is not trifle – as it is my life’s path:
I resolve to continue to promote awareness, intuition, and progression in my Self, with the hopes that it reflects in a beneficial way on those around me. Whether I feel fondly for them or whether I do not – I am of little use to anyone or anything, if I am of no use to myself.
Thank you, have a progressive and enlightening 2013.
*author’s note: I do not usually take such great care into being a ‘gentle writer’, and I do not want to suggest that I mean to continue ‘writing gently’. It has amounted in (this article) and myself going past a deadline for posting. Consider it just lovely, that I put 400% effort into this blog post – just so that it was more palatable for everyone. Note that this will not always be achievable for me to do.
A healthy response to media such as this video released on Youtube, would not be in a ‘reactive’ format, but a format with the word ‘consider’ in it. People should not feel compelled to ‘react’ to this, as much as they should be CONSIDERING it.
People should consider its accuracy, and its authenticity. They should consider its source and motivations, and this could look like considering the questions: “Who claimed to be the poster of this, and why might this poster post this?”.
Then people might find themselves in healthy mind to consider it’s meaning, or purpose. When considering things like Purpose, and Function, and Message – we look to our analytical mind, as opposed to our emotional mind. I feel that if most people operated and responded (to life) from a more logical mind than an emotional (or reactive) mind, this paragraph would become unnecessary. It is clear when people approach the content of the video logically, they are able to see there is no emotional language being used (the author of the video writes on the video, there is no sound), and it writes from an objective pen. With this in mind people should be able to deduce that the foremost purpose is to ‘inform’ the viewer. This is unlike some motivations in Youtube posts, which the purpose is to ‘inflame’ the viewer.
Sometimes people miss the real point. In this case, the video here is of scenes from inside a Mormon temple (practices that are kind of like what you see in a Freemason temple), and a common reaction to the absolute insanity of “extreme mormons” is just that. A reaction. Often the reaction is: “well those people go too far” or, ”these people have gone extreme”. This is not inaccurate, but it’s disturbingly off-point. Reactions like this illustrate a more severe epidemic of “moderating the insanity of religion” to the temperature that most large groups, as well as individual families, can absorb.
[Making Religion Palatable] is not okay. To send this message home, I just might do a whole segment on the very idea.
Moderate religious people are practicing watered-down crazy. I personally get the feeling Moderates might believe that “being moral” and “being religious” are synonymous, and to detach from a religion in part or whole, separates them from an idea/image/ or reality – of being a moral person.
It’s not a competition, of course, but I think that belief is more harmful to society as a whole, than this ‘extremism’ shown in youtube videos, which quite LITERALLY represents the purest and intended form of _____ religion. Mormon, Christian, Islam, Whatever.
Those who cannot deny religion, have to defer to “less obscene, less unreasonable” forms of their original religion. Their conscious, or traditionally evolved dilemma becomes: “To Moderate, or Not to Moderate?” But it leaves the reasonable thinking, is that really a question? Shouldn’t people be asking themselves: “To Moderate, Or To Free-Think?”